It finally happened yesterday. We really touched Nigel for the first time.
Thanks to Sam’s mom, Linda, we ordered a DVD from Longhopes Donkey Shelter called Matching Wits with Donkeys. By following the techniques demonstrated in the video – all towards building trust and confidence – Don was able to touch and hug Nigel after working with him for several hours yesterday morning.
More or less, the technique involved putting Nigel into an enclosed area by himself, then approaching Nigel on his terms. Don walked with Nigel when Nigel walked, and stopped when Nigel stopped… getting a little closer each time… backing off when Nigel flinched. Finally, Don was able to touch him. Don discovered Nigel’s “safe spot” over by the shed (a.k.a. future chicken coop), where Nigel would allow Don to pet him… and when Nigel backed off, Don would let him go. Don spent all morning building Nigel’s trust, and in the end, every second was worth it.
For me, coming home from my riding lesson and being able to really touch Nigel for the first time was quite surreal.
And then, of course, I had to brush him.
There’s still a lot more work for us to do with Nigel, but we’re finally over the bump in the road. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
September 5, 2010 at 3:30 am
I am so pleased that you two put such work and understanding into this touching (in many senses) project. I imagine the two of you just felt the love pouring out through your skin to Niles’ hide once you finally got to make contact with his furry warmth.
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September 5, 2010 at 10:01 am
June,
I did feel almost as if I was having an out of body experience when I put my head on his back. Wow. 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 5:58 am
Woo Hoo! Yay! How incredible!
(Matching wits with a donkey? Do they have one for tweenagers?)
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September 5, 2010 at 10:00 am
Winter,
It was incredible!!! It’s an awesome DVD. 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 6:16 am
Patience has paid off! Big smiley faces for all! Give Nigel hugs from me too.
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September 5, 2010 at 10:00 am
Mel,
Thank you… I was thinking of you yesterday! 😀
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September 5, 2010 at 6:19 am
I am very happy for all of you:-)
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September 5, 2010 at 9:59 am
Denise,
Thank you! Please give Gunny and Harry hugs from all of us!
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September 5, 2010 at 6:33 am
Hooray!! Did he enjoy the brushing, or just tolerate it? Pocket burro not far now… 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 9:58 am
Flartus,
I think he was actually enjoying it. Just before that, he was allowing me to really give him hard scritches on his back – with both hands. That’s when we knew he was ready for the brush – that quick!
Definitely pocket burro not far now. 🙂
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September 6, 2010 at 9:28 am
Real hard scritches paid off after all. 😀
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September 5, 2010 at 6:51 am
FABULOUS news! Once he realizes your loves and touches feel so wonderful, he’ll never want to go back to being touchless again!
Hooray for Nigel and both of you!
Give him some gentle pats from Paco and C in WI. 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 9:56 am
C,
Hugs to you and Paco! 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 7:00 am
As thrilled and relieved as I know you and Don must be, I’m guessing that Nigel feels exactly the same way. Do you think the techniques from the video would have worked say a month ago? Or was Nigel just finally ready and the techniques helped you get him over the last speed bump?
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September 5, 2010 at 9:56 am
Carson,
Don and I think the techniques would have worked a month or two ago.
The best thing about this technique is that Don didn’t have to stress Nigel… it was still all on Nigel’s terms. Naturally, that means it took a lot longer, but again, well worth it.
Don said that the moment he saw it “click” for Nigel was simply amazing. 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 7:14 am
I am glad you both touched Nigel for the first time. I did not know that the touch did not happen till now…
Congratulations!
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September 5, 2010 at 9:52 am
Sonia,
Thank you! Hope you are enjoying a lovely weekend. 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 7:35 am
Tears of joy running down my face!! Nigel, you have a lifetime of love ahead of you – enjoy every minute 🙂
Justina and Don – your patience has been rewarded!! I can’t begin to imagine how happy you are – CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
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September 5, 2010 at 9:52 am
Sue,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙂 We’re enjoying every minute of it too.
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September 5, 2010 at 7:39 am
So happy that you both are finally with Nigel and also it will mean that I will be soon when I come in a couple months. Nigel, obviously, enjoyed your grooming him and he may be thinking “I should have allowed you to do that long ago becuz it certainly feels good to be groomed.”
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September 5, 2010 at 9:51 am
MeeMaw,
I’m sure Nigel will be more than happy to have you brush him when you’re here. 😉
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September 5, 2010 at 8:01 am
Fantastic!!! Great job, you two!
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September 5, 2010 at 9:51 am
sigrid,
Thank you! 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 8:05 am
I’m so happy for this great step in your family bonding. I’m kinda sniffly, actually. Big hugs and scritches all around.
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September 5, 2010 at 9:50 am
Cathy,
Thank you! We’ll be back out there working with him again today. xxoo
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September 5, 2010 at 8:31 am
Wonderful post! Congratulations – what a wonderful, incredible moment that first touch must have been! Gosh, how I would love to know everything that’s going on in Nigel’s mind right now!
Question: With the technique that Don was using, was any kind of treat used as motivation or reward? You know, like food?
I can’t believe he let you brush him immediately,too, Justina! I would’ve thought that would be a whole NEW event – getting him used to the “foreign object” touching him. This was a *huge* hurdle I had to overcome with my boy, Chester.
Anyway, I’m very happy for you all – you have waiting a long time for this! 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 9:49 am
Danni,
While Don did have a few peppermint treats in his pocket, the technique really doesn’t require any motivational or reward treats… it’s amazing… and surprisingly simple. 🙂
We were thinking about you, because they also have a 2 hour DVD – Trimming Donkey Hooves.
http://www.longhopes.org/LearningTools.html
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September 5, 2010 at 9:02 am
This is wonderful news! I have tears of joy streaming down my face! Longhopes is the donkey shelter I visited for my birthday….remember, Justina? It is a wonderful place.
Happy to hear mention of a future chicken coop!
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September 5, 2010 at 9:42 am
Lilla,
I do remember! 🙂 They sent a copy of their newsletter with the DVD. What an amazing organization they are! I definitely want to visit them (and you) the next time we’re up your way!
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September 5, 2010 at 9:39 am
Woo-HOO! Loves and scritches all around! I was wondering about Carson’s question, too…
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September 5, 2010 at 9:40 am
And I knew what it was as soon as I read the post title!
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September 5, 2010 at 9:41 am
EvenSong,
😀
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September 5, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Way to go Nigel !!
Did you know this was what Don was planning on doing while you were off having your riding lesson, or was it a surprise when you got home ?
What a great guy you’ve got there, so patient and kind. You must really love and appreciate him so much.
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September 6, 2010 at 2:52 pm
gazelle,
I knew that Don was going to work with Nigel using the techniques from the DVD while I was gone. What I didn’t know was whether he would be succesful by the time I got home.
I was still surprised and awed when I got home to see Don touching Nigel. And yes, I really do love and appreciate Don. He’s my best friend. 😀
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September 5, 2010 at 2:53 pm
It must have been so overwhelming!!! Congratulations are in order, I believe:)) I am sure he was dying to be petted, just wasn’t sure how to get there:)) Happy hugging!
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September 6, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Sandra,
Thank you so much!
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September 5, 2010 at 3:01 pm
~~Happy dance!~~ Way to go! Now I hope to see lots more of Nigel’s sweet face as he learns all about lovin’!
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September 6, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Shirley,
As you are Nigel’s biggest fan and all, I was hoping you’d see this post! 😀
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September 5, 2010 at 3:31 pm
What happy, happy news!!!
Did you know Don was able to touch him when you left for your lesson or did you just come home to a complete surprise?
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September 6, 2010 at 2:56 pm
CeeCee,
Don worked with Nigel while I was gone to my lesson. I actually thought it would take Don a lot longer than it did to actually touch Nigel, so I was surprised when I came home a couple of hours later and voila – success! 🙂
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September 5, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Huge smiles!!!!! Woot! Woot! Happy dance going on here for you and of course Nigel.
Nothing like baby steps, taking it slow and then before you know it, a huge step forward. I am sooooo happy!!! Yay!!!!!
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September 6, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Cindy,
Thank you! We’re happy that you’re smiling. Sending lots of hope and positive thoughts your way!
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September 5, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Congratulations on your newest milestone with Nigel. He is such a sweet boy. You both are wonderful to have so much patience with him….it is so worth it.
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September 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Linda,
You’re definitely right… it is so worth it.
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September 6, 2010 at 7:31 am
Yay!!! So happy to read this news and see the pictures. That is big news, and I am so happy for all of you!! ♥ -Tammy
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September 6, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Tammy,
Thanks! And he’s doing even better today!
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September 6, 2010 at 7:50 am
WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!
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September 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Jane,
Woot-woot! 😀
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September 6, 2010 at 8:55 am
This is fantastic news! I’m all teary now for not only you and Don, but for Nigel too. A whole new world has opened up for him. The trust and love he has for his human’s is blossoming. Congrats!
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September 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Jenny,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s a happy day here! 🙂
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September 7, 2010 at 5:50 am
Happy, happy day for you and for Nigel. He now knows you both are safe and he is finding out what the others have known for awhile, just WHAT humans are good for–food, fun, and working on itchies!!
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September 7, 2010 at 7:24 am
I commented on your FB page when I read it there but now I’m catching up on your weekend post and just wanted to say again how glad I am that Nigel is finally free to love!
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September 7, 2010 at 8:19 am
[…] his three burro brothers). This weekend, for the first time, Nigel allowed himself to be touched. If you like animals, click here to see the photos. Have kleenex handy, because it is such a happy […]
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September 8, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Oh my goodness! I was away for a few days and come home to see this! Yipee! I am so completely thrilled for you, Don and Nigel! He will be following you everywhere looking for scritches now! 🙂
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September 11, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Cue the “Hallelujah Chorus” I’ve been away from the blog for a couple of weeks and I come back to this . . . great news. I’m very happy that he’ll get to experience all the love and affection that loving, healing hands can provide.
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September 14, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Oh wow.
HOW cool.
HOW excellent.
Big smile, and a tear…………………
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February 28, 2013 at 6:18 pm
Hi again,
I found this DVD! I wrote to you on today’s post about help for my buddy – Paco. I will try out this technique! Thanks!
Wendy
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March 1, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Wendy,
Good luck! If you follow the technique, we know you and Paco will do great. Just remember to be patient. He’ll come around. 🙂
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